Presto!

I was fortunate enough to get down to San Diego over the weekend to see the folks. My dad, as busy as ever with his garden, couldn't wait to show me all the stuff he's grown. Over the past few months, his garden has gone nuts. I saw everything from a giant habanéro pepper to a spiky orange melon that's from some island I've never heard of. It's like some surreal fruit and vegetable zoo back there. I also got to see the progress of the magic pineapples I wrote about 5 months ago. They're f-ing HUGE now! He's got 5 of them that are ready to be harvested. The fact that the fat pineapples are able to balance above the center of the plant with the support of a skinny stem was amazing to me. Unlike my mom who swears he uses deadly chemicals to grow these sons of bitches, I cannot wait to try one of them! Dad says they're way better than those ones you get from the market. Mom just rolls her eyes when he says that. I'll let you know what they're like in a future food review. Way to go dad! Keep fighthing the good fight and don't let mom crap on your parade!

Aloha from California?

As random as my mom can be, my dad loves sticking to a set schedule. It's a wonder that they get along at all. He's meticulous at everything he does, especially when it comes to his gardening. He's like a cross between Thomas Edison and Al Bundy. I never knew pineapples grew anywhere other than Hawaii, but my dad made it a mission of his to create his very own California pineapples.



My dad got the idea about 7 years ago, and I have no idea how he did it, but through research, experimentation, and a whole lot of patience, my dad was able to grow his very first pineapple 2 years later.



He took me through the process over the weekend and I learned a whole bunch of stuff that I never even considered. The "seed" is actually the top of the previous pineapple. You know, the spiky, leafy, things.



Once the top is soaked and planted, the leaves grow into a huge bush that's about 3 feet high. About 7 months later, a bud forms at the end of a stem above the center of the bush. That bud looks like a miniature pineapple. It then grows for another 5 months til it gets big and orange like the pineapples we're used to seeing. How bizarre is that? If you think about it, that crazy thing grows from the top from the original pineapple. It's like having a baby grow from your hair or something.



The pineapples are now ready to pick! My dad says they're as sweet as any you buy from the supermarket. My mom wouldn't try one if you paid her, she just rolls her eyes. I give my old man a lot of credit for sticking with something for so long and getting it right, despite zero support from the Mrs's. Unfortunately he didn't pass that attitude to me. I sleep all day. His 1 pineapple total from 5 years ago has now ballooned to 26 this year. Way to go dad!